Recently, Danielle LaPorte wrote this blog post about making space in your life for things to show up. It’s worth a couple minutes of your time to read it first…it will lay the groundwork for what I’m going to talk about today. Plus, Danielle is always a pleasure to read.
So, I had been thinking about this concept for sometime before Danielle published her piece, but her writing really brought it to the forefront of my consciousness.
And recently I acted on it.
It was scary. And freeing. And scary. And liberating. And scary. And it required a lot of trust, the the choice for long-term gratification over instant gratification. Oh, and it was scary.
You see, I let go of a relationship which I quite enjoyed, but which didn’t serve the shape I ultimately want my life to take.
In fact, this relationship kept me in a cycle of settling for something I didn’t want, even if it was enjoyable in the moment.
I hesitate to call it Danielle’s ugly chair, because it was, in fact, a very pretty chair. It just didn’t fit into the room I am building.
It was let go with honesty and well-wishes from both sides. And happiness, actually, that I was allowing for better in my life. Yes, that, even from the other person. Pretty spectacular person.
And to be fair, the relationship is not forever severed. It just has to change shape. The parameters are being rearranged.
By me. Setting new boundaries.
And that, my friends, is the impressive part for me. I don’t do great things with boundaries. I tend to let people invade mine, and then resent them for it. Passive-aggressive? Um, probably.
So making space in my life for better things to show up? That’s about setting different boundaries for me, in so many ways. At least when it comes to people.
There are other areas in which I am making space too. For years, my weight has fluctuated. And by years, I mean most of them. I have always had 3 wardrobes: my small, medium, and large wardrobes. I don’t throw things away, I pack them away, and swap them out as I change size.
If you’re a regular reader or Twitter follower, you may be aware that I am changing size at a staggering rate at the moment, thanks to my migraines. I have lost 60 lbs since January, and at least 20 of that has been in the last 6 weeks. I’m out of my large wardrobe and into my medium one, even partially in my small one.
I just made the decision not to hold onto the large wardrobe anymore.
That’s HUGE for me. I have struggled with weight my entire life. Keeping all those wardrobes was simply a money-saver: I didn’t have to buy all new every time I gained or lost weight. But you know what else? I also wasn’t trusting myself.
I was keeping all my other wardrobes “just in case.”
If that’s not an ugly chair, I don’t know what is.
So I’ve decided to let it all go. As I undergrow my clothes in this weight loss, I will donate them to the local charity shop or give them to friends. I will keep what I’m growing into (the smaller stuff), because at this rate, it will only be another month or two and I’ll be down to the small stuff anyway. But as soon as things are too big, I am giving them away.
I am giving away my attachment to the fail safe plan. THAT’S how I can make way for something better in my life than falling back into old, outmoded patterns.
Letting go of relationships that don’t serve the life I want to build. Letting go of dressings for a shell I no longer embody.
Feel all of that space? Now there’s room to breathe. Room to pick and choose what to put back into that space. I might like it better empty. I might like to put fewer, higher-quality things back in there. But until I have the space to see it clearly, I’ll always be operating from the perspective of a hoarder.
Needy. Clutching. Desperate to fill. Desperate to not be left, not be alone, desperate because I don’t have enough.
I’ll take space, thank you. Cracking wide open for the light to shine in.
I’ll take it.